Mood:
a-okNow Playing: The old X-Men theme song from the old X-Men program, of course
Recently, the cast of the Boring Rocks were invited to attend a showing of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Don’t think they were invited by the studio; they were invited by their friend WOBBiE. Anyway, this week will be Wolverine Week here on Boredom’s Reach, as Pumpki, Groundi, Ananas and the others post their reviews of this CINEMATIC MISTERPIECE! Be warned, though—some plot elements may be spoiled by reading these reviews. Especially in Ghosti’s review on Tuesday. Another, fourth-wall breaking apology in advance for the fact that I seem to be channeling Chester A. Bum over here.
Reviewer 1: Pumpki—the Action Lover Who Actually Watches Movies
Grade: 3/4
Let’s get this out of the way before I begin, because I know you’re all thinking it. This is an action movie, so how did it rank on the patented Pumpki REN Scale? For those not in the know, the REN scale evaluates a film for its amount of Robots, Explosions, and Ninjas. This film had some explosions, and it had a ninja, but there were surprisingly no robots—who was the freakin’ genius who dropped the Sentinel? Did he get stuck on the train with Stan Lee and both not make it over in time for filming? I have to assume that, because no director would have said “Less thirty-foot high robots, more fat guys with boxing gloves.” If I wanted that, I’d have stayed home and played Super Punch Out.
Though it’s on shaky footing for not having robots (geez, even Superman IV had robots! I think!), Wolverine was a decidedly awesome experience. I mean, this is a guy who runs around and DOES NOT STOP DESTROYING! You shoot him, and he does not stop! He just explodes you! By the end of the movie, Wolverine and Sabretooth had killed so many people that I’d wonder who’d be left to be in the next movie if it weren’t for the fact that, hey, it’s the X-Men, the only series with more main characters than the Boring Rocks.
As for the movie’s movie-worthiness, um, there might have been a plot, but I think Gambit exploded it. I lost it somewhere around the point that Wolverine punched out a guy with boxing gloves with claws on them. I think it involved vengeance, and being vengeful, and possibly revenge. I mean, I’d think it would be possible to have a movie with explosions and a plot. But I guess if I had a choice of watching Wolverine brood or watching Sabretooth rip Wraith’s spinal cord out, I’d choose the latter. I mean, this is a guy who RIPPED KESTREL’S SPINE OUT!
With that said, I would recommend this movie to people who like action movies, even if they don’t have robots in them. I’d also like to toss out this idea to any cartoonists reading this—Stan Lee and a Sentinel, trapped on a train. Draw it.
